You’ve heard this “story” all your life:
Jack and Jill went
up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and
broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.
Do we really know anything about Jack and Jill? They could be just about ANYBODY! What if we could “hear” them speaking to one
another:
JILL: I’m so tired,
Uncle Jack. This hill is so steep. I want to go home.
JACK: Now, now, you
know we can’t go back without the water your Mama needs to make us a fine
venison stew.
JILL: Well, I am hungry.
JACK: See? The stream is just ahead. Help me fill the buckets and I’ll carry them
on the yoke.
JILL: But how can you
carry all the buckets back down the hill?
It’s so steep.
JACK: Just
watch. Oh, oh!
JILL: Uncle
Jack!
Could you “see” Jack and Jill a little better? Are there any hints about their age and
where/when they live? This is just the
dialogue. All you need to complete the
scene is add a few details:
Jill
dropped her bucket and plopped down on a rock.
She noticed a stain on the front of her calico dress. She sighed.
“I’m so tired, Uncle Jack. This
hill is so steep. I want to go home.”
Jack
turned around. He pushed up his straw
hat with his free hand. Beneath his
grizzled eyebrows his blue eyes twinkled.
He shifted the carry yoke on his shoulder. “Now, now, you know we can’t go back without
the water your Mama needs to make us a fine venison stew.”
Jill
wrinkled her nose. She could almost
smell that stew. Uncle Jack had just
killed that doe this morning. Mama was
preparing the meat right now. “Well, I am hungry.”
Jack
pointed ahead. “See? The stream is just ahead.” Help me fill the buckets and I’ll carry them
on the yoke.”
Jill
shrugged and followed Jack. He set down
the carry yoke.
“Help me fill the
buckets and I’ll carry them on the yoke.”
She dipped her
bucket in the cold, clear water and gripped the handle with both hands. “But how can you carry all the buckets back
down the hill? It’s so steep.”
Jack grinned and
took the nearly full bucket from Jill.
“Just watch.”
He added Jill’s
bucket to the two on the carry yoke. It
appeared to Jill that the yoke was unbalanced.
Uncle Jack always seemed to know what he was doing, so she followed him
as he began to descend the steep hill.
They hadn’t gone
far when he stumbled on a rock and lost his footing. “Oh, oh!” he cried just before the heavy yoke
pulled him down. His head struck a
boulder, and he lay still.
“Uncle Jack!”
screamed Jill, rushing forward. Then
she, too, lost her balance and began tumbling down the hill.
Now
you try it! Write the dialogue for Jack
and Jill. Make them sound like (pick
one) two children OR two teenagers
OR two elderly people OR two
people of any age.
Just
put their names in all capital letters, like this:
JACK: (write what he says)
JILL: (write what she says)
If you do write this, I'd love to read it! You can email a copy to me at khuthjones@gmail.com. Happy writing!
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